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The Way



Saturday, March 5, 2011

i haven been updating. theres so much going on but too little time and willingness on my part to jot down the happenings.

okay i guess i have a lot to say. and it goes all the way back to my last academic semester in melb.

melbourne. hmmm. i have to admit that life in melbourne has been good. too good to be true. good in the material sense. things are expensive, explaining the quality. i felt spoilt in melbourne. i have no idea why although i try to save every cent i could, splurging occassionally. its a norm to travel during spring and easter break. and every trip out would normally cost close to A$500. i have done that to make myself part of the clique in melbourne. i have to admit that it wasnt good. i just couldnt bring myself to enjoy the trip because my parents are not with me. everytime when i travel, i feel guilty. why am i enjoying while my parents are hard at work. i dont deserve this much. as least i dont think i need to be enjoying to this extent. that was too luxurious for me and i hated it.

best period of melbourne was when ys was there. i applaud his tolerance because i am really not a nice person to hang out with for long. but he brought so muchhh joy to me. it was the most memorale time spent tgth. i am so glad he could live with me, at least i tot so. i am so glad he mixed well with my friends. it's nice. i used to oomplain to him about melbourne. every part of it from the price to the people. and when he was here, i felt that he could relate to all my complaints. he is a calm man and he may not feel my angst but i tot it was nice that he was there to experience what i had gone thru in the foreign land.

it was a less boring semester because of nigel and haoting. at least there are people whom i can rely on when im in need of help. most imptly, i could be myself in front of them. i never once tot i would be so desperate to be myself. i could speak in mandarin, speak english w sg accent, speaking rojak - having both eng and mandarin in sentences. wahhh wad a luxury. hahah

exams had been easy in melb. i m pretty sure all my other friends in prestigious sg unis can do muchhhh better than me. but year 3 in melb uni was no joke. the assignments starting piling, readings etc. :S crap. and last sem i didnt do well. i had no first and 2nd upper results for all subjects done last sem. shit max. i cried right after the derivative securities paper because i couldnt answer more than 50% of the questions. i felt like crying when i still had an hr to go before the exam ended. it was torturous. i flipped thru the paper many times, copying formulas from the formula sheet into the answer space, hoping that it could get me some marks. the school played a trick on us on the day of the release of results. i had all my grades except for the derivative subject. there was no grade and there was the word enrolled in the grade column for this subject. i panicked. wth why no results shown. in the end, it was because 59% of the cohort failed and they needed extra time to moderate the grades causing the delay in the release of results. i almost suffered a heart attack..

hoping that tw uni accepts me for exchange, i decided to move out of my melb house, packing everything back to sg. it was such a huge risk because taiwan uni had not given me any reply. i wanted to exclaim that it was my last semester in melb, but i wanted to save myself from the potential disappointment and rejection, just in case anything happens. i left melb not knowing if that was my last time in melb. that sucks ttm. also i told almost everyone i met in melb that i applied for exchange without thinking of the consequences. imagine having to explain to all these people if my exchange didnt get thru. haha. heck lar. at least i tried right. haha. and here i am! in taiwan now! it wasnt an easy process at all and im still in the midst of getting subject approval from my school. :S

ohman i will cont nxt time about my internship experience.

signed off at12:28 AM